Hi, everyone! Hope you all enjoyed a wonderful Valentine's Day. Ours was quite sweet and subdued. We ate in; he had flower delivered to the house—AND, most impressively, he gave me a love letter as my gift. It's been my wish that he do so as often as possible, because when times get tough, I like to go back and reread them. It reminds me of all the things I tend to forget when I get upset—so really it benefits him as much as me. Admittedly, he doesn't always have time to write a letter but he tries and gets a lot of the little things right, which is also quite sweet and important.
I am not here to talk about us, though, I want to talk about Mr. D. I started off talking about our Valentine's Day because I tend to reread Pride and Prejudice around this time of year, most years. I listened to it this time around and it was wonderful—as always. Unlike most of the previous times, I looked at it from a more critical point of view. You see, I recently watched a YouTube video where the creator questioned the hype around most people's love for Mr. Darcy. I think she noted that he's not very charming and kind of lackluster. So what could possibly provoke so many women, myself included, to fawn all over this character? (Confession—I watched the BBC series as a young girl before ever reading the book so I was predisposed to love the book.)
I can't speak for all, but I can definitely speak for myself. After all, he really was the man of my dreams until Ryan came along and took over. So without further ado, here are just a few of the many qualities of Mr. Darcy make me swoon.
Dependability has always been at the forefront of my list of uncompromising characteristics for the man of my dreams. For some reason—personal experience—I thought this would be most difficult to find. I think that beyond personal experience, it's also because some of the most popular reality TV shows revolve around undependable men—Real World, 16 & Pregnant, The Real Housewives, etc.. Mr. Darcy was anything but from the start.
Let's consider Mr. Bingley's high regard for Mr. Darcy. Mr. Bingley had the fortune of knowing him a very long time and it is this, along with his own unintelligible regard for his own instincts, that lead him astray when it comes to courting Jane, ultimately the love of his life. This alone speaks volumes of Mr. Darcy's dependability, although he was terribly wrong when it came to advising Bingley about Jane, we later forgive him once he confirms that he was mistaken (another charming quality of his—humility).
Another example, and one that presents him through better light, is how he handled the situation with Wickham when he led his sister astray then again when he became involved with Lydia. In both instances, he took it upon himself to handle these situations with great urgency and with esteem to both ladies, although for varying reasons.
Yes, he has pride but he is understanding enough to be forgiving when it is merited. He forgives Elizabeth once he realizes that she's right—he did act hastily with regard to Bingley and Jane and he had all at once given her a great compliment with his proposal of marriage as well as insulted her substantially when he cited all the reasons he shouldn't feel as he did. As we know, in the end, everything is clarified for all involved and it's mostly due to his understanding heart.
I think that what intrigues me the most about him is that he actually admits to his follies and asks for forgiveness. Men in my family seldom acknowledge verbally when they are wrong or when their actions were unwarranted. It is quite a struggle, to be sure, but we love them and forgive them as through their actions we come to understand that they are sorry…sometimes though, you just want to hear the words, "I'm sorry." (As it happens, Ryan often does so and with quite a bit of charm as well. He's very clever that way. Another of the many reasons I love him.)
He is loyal to a fault to his friends, his family and to those he considers most important to him.
Even after being rejected by Elizabeth he continues to love her. He defends her whenever her character is criticized and when she proposes to make him feel uncomfortable. It's all quite endearing and, perfect.
Given that the divorce rate is so high in this world, I often wonder what could be the main cause. My hypothesis is—while I know that there isn't a singular cause but a plethora of them—that it's due to infidelity which is caused by a lack of loyalty. Many things can lead to this outcome, but I find that having loyalty to one's partner can go a long way towards fighting for the health of the relationship and prevent it from happening altogether.
I think that at the heart of the title of the book is the fact that we can all derive incorrect conclusions about a person's character upon first meeting them. It's human nature to criticize, and yes, first impressions are quite important, but we don't always get them right. Once slighted by someone, it's easier to dislike that person than to try to rationalize our misperception of them. I think that is why the book is titled, Pride & Prejudice. Pride referring to our first impression of Mr. Darcy being an unlikable snob and "Prejudice" based on Elizabeth's impression of Mr. Darcy.
No, he is not the whimsical colorful character as is Mr. Wickham, but he does have a lively sense of humor that is most evident towards the end of the book when he recollects all that's happened with Elizabeth. He is unassuming, smart, and needs a bit of time to warm up to new acquaintances—but once he overcomes his cautious nature he is as amiable as the next good natured lively gentleman--and he has 10 thousand a year!
And, I'll stop here. I could honestly go on for quite a bit longer but I fear that that'll be overkill.
So tell me are you Team Darcy or Team Indifferent? I'd also love to know what your ultimate bae is! Girly chatter is always welcome on my blog.
Latest YouTube Video
In addition to loving P&P this month I've been loving a lot of different YouTubers. I go more into detail in my latest video: